Crossing the Equator at Ecuador

On this cruise we were very fortunate to cross the equator in Ecuador that means equator. Last year, we had the good luck to cross the equator and the International Date Line on the same day. The big event of the day was the Symbolic Crossing Ceremony. Our major question is "Why is it so cold?" We have been dressing for the location but may need to haul out our hoodies for this weather.

Our Cruise Director Brett started the ceremony with Deputy Cruise Director Frankie as King Neptune and Choir Director David as his queen. The queen sported basketball-sized balloon boobs. Even Brett commented, "You're queen's hot!" King Neptune, ruler of all seas and waterways, was here to initiate the polliwogs. Before the initiation, King Neptune made Senior First Officer Umberto the Skipper who earned the Order of Kipper.

Members of the cruise director's staff played the roles of the Demon Barber, Surgeon and Evil Nurse, Nymphets and Men in Black. Ralph, the first polliwog was accused of drinking champagne and guzzling beer but "only does it when the drinks are free." NOTE to 2010 World Cruisers--King Neptune replied, "Oh, you are like those from the last world cruise."

Jennifer, whom King Neptune stated that he "liked what he sees" when she knelt, was told that "her crime was so chronic, she managed to drink all the gin and tonic." To which Jennifer replied, "It wasn't gin. It was vodka!" Brett retorted that her reply did not rhyme in his script.

Allan was "found with knives, forks and also spoons, stolen and hidden in his room." When asked by King Neptune about what he was planning to do with the cutlery, he replied, "Polish it!" Good response!

Sammy, a very slim young man, was accused of "drinking in bars all night long and singing at karaoke a very long, long song" and eating every meal possible during the day. When the question was asked, "Where did he put it all?" King Neptune replied, "We don't know. That's why he is guilty!"

Craig was "drunk as skunk climbing into someone else's bunk. We hear your laughs and snickers but worst of all he stole her knickers." (Was the lady the computer instructor? Way to go, Sylvia!)

The last polliwog was a crew member impersonating a passenger, who represented all crew members who had not crossed the equator. She was charged with impersonating a passenger and having a name that no one could pronouce.

Queen David then decreed that "Everyone charged of crimes today must kiss my fish in a personal way." (See photographs.) Then the cruise director's staff spread salad dressing on their heads and massaged egg and jello in their hair before adding texture with spaghetti and lettuce.

Next, the evil Men in Black grabbed Cruise Director Brett, who was accused of singing like Mille Vanille for an operation that was quite a mess. However, Brett gave as good as he got and threw it all back at them before they swirled Reddi-whip on his head. Later, Brett told us that he had warned them not to put anything in his mouth because he promised to vomit it on them. He also kissed the fish but informed us that he hated fish and would only eat shellfish but not large pieces of fish.

Once the ceremony was completed, King Neptune declared, "No better vessel I confess, God bless the ship, the Pacific Princess," and the ship's passengers and crew had officially "accepted with good humor and withstood with fortitude the most rigorous initiation into the ancient and moistening rites of the aquatic court."